Donald Trump Promises England He’ll Build Them a Wall

After the celebration for the re-opening of his golf course in Scotland, Donald Trump agreed to an interview with the BBC. Mr. Trump promised England that he would build them a wall to seal the Chunnel with France:

As you know, I know how to build. I know how to get it done. We’ll have a great wall. We’ll call it the Great Wall of Trump UK minus Scotland. We’ll have a great wall and it will be – it’ll be actually — it can be a good-looking wall, as walls go, but we will have a really terrific wall and it will be done for the right price. But you’ll have to pay me in dollars, believe me, pounds just don’t excite me!

Another Voice in The GOP Biggest Fish Category

At last night’s GOP debate, a number of candidates got into a pissing contest about…well…pissing appendages. Not to be outdone, 2012 GOP Candidate Mitt Romney, during his lambasting of Donald Trump’s candidacy had this to say about his own attributes:
Romney

SATIRE!

We’ve Always Known Fox News Wasn’t Fair and Balanced…But Never Expected This!

Now this one is NOT from Reuters and would almost be too funny, if it were actually true: Fox News is reportedly dumping Marco Rubio. But with everything going on in the campaign and the sky is falling mentality at Fox, it isn’t that far fetched! LOL!

Marco Rubio’s path to the Republican presidential nomination just got a little narrower, as Fox News employees and guests have been instructed to stop giving the freshman senator favorable coverage, says New York’s Gabriel Sherman, citing “three Fox sources.” Sherman, who wrote a book about Fox News and its boss, Roger Ailes, quotes Ailes as telling a Fox host recently: “We’re finished with Rubio…. We can’t do the Rubio thing anymore.”

The reasons, Sherman says, include Ailes’ waning confidence in Rubio’s electoral prospects, tension with Rubio antagonists like Sean Hannity, and, most proximately, an article in The New York Times this week detailing a private 2013 dinner at which Rubio persuaded Ailes to back his “Gang of 8” immigration bill. “Roger hates seeing his name in print,” a longtime Ailes associate told Sherman. “He was appalled the dinner was reported.” The Fox News chief is now searching for a new candidate to champion, Sherman said…

Well I don’t know how reliable THE WEEK is but Fox is in full on denial:

After this article was published, Fox News’ Michael Clemente, the cable network’s executive vice president of news, issued a statement denying all aspects of the New York report, saying “there is no credence to this narrative.”

But it’s kinda fun anyway!

University of Phoenix Secures Naming Rights to UW System

SATIRE *** SATIRE *** SATIRE *** SATIRE *** SATIRE *** SATIRE *** SATIRE *** SATIRE *** SATIRE *** SATIRE *** SATIRE

After successfully hosting Super Bowl XLIX (or whatever) at University of Phoenix Stadium and smelling blood in the water, the University of Phoenix today bought the naming rights to the University of Wisconsin system for the next two years starting July 1, 2015. Terms were not disclosed publicly but a source who asked not to be named because she/he wasn’t authorized to discuss the negotiations, confirmed the agreed amount was in the neighborhood of $300 million!

Ending Ted Cruz’s Presidential Campaign Right Here:

For the past seven or eight years we’ve been told that an American male born to an American mother and a foreign born father in a foreign country is ineligible to be President of the United States. Without the largesse of Mr. Donald Trump, few of us would know this simple fact about America.

So now along comes Senator Ted Cruz of Texas…a constant member of the media’s GOP Gang of Sixteen for Sixteen. Well it’s time to put his quest to rest…cause Senator Cruz is ineligible to be president…say wha? No Really!

Born to an American mother and a Cuban father in of all places, Canada. Which unlike the Keystone XL pipeline fanatics who can’t tell Alberta from Montana, the rest of know that Canada is still as of this writing a foreign country. And…until very recently, Senator Cruz was a dual citizenship American and Canadian until he finally filed to relinquish his Canadianness…maybe he should have waited until we normalize our relations with Cuba and gone for a trifecta, but I digress.

Don’t believe me? Check this out:
CRUZ_0819NAT_32638724

And considering Mr. Trump covets one of those slots in the suite (sp?) sixteen, you’d think he’d be all over tossing Senator Cruz under the next bus to Havana…or wherever!

BREAKING: AG Van Hollen stricken by sudden bout of decency and common sense

Staffers for Attorney General JB Van Hollen rushed him to a Madison emergency room earlier today after what one staffer described as ” a sudden, inexplicable seizure-like bout of decency and common sense “. DOJ spokeswoman Dana Brueck told local reporters ” it was really, really scary. He just suddenly started talking about how we might as well drop the whole photo ID thing since we had no chance to implement it by November 4th. For a moment I thought he might even admit that the entire effort was both anti-democratic and a flat out fucking sham, but thankfully he didn’t go that far. ”

Van Hollen was released by ER physicians and told to go home and get some rest. Said Brueck, ” he stopped at a newsstand on the way home and bought a copy of The National Review, so we think he’ll be back to his old self soon. “