Swing state leverage

Living in a swing state in an election year is bizarre. It’s at once exciting, stressful, and creepy. The incessant robocalls, requests for time and money, and visits from canvassers (I’ve TOLD them I’m voting for Obama) make me want to crawl into bed, draw the shades and come out when it’s all over. And I’m not the only Wisconsinite who feels this way. That’s why some of us have decided to band together in solidarity to milk our swing state leverage for all it’s worth.

Yeah, it was great that Ashley Judd, Bradley Whitford, and that dude from Southland were here, and it’s cool that Barack Obama and Mitt Romney will both be back (again) next week, but since we know we’ll be dumped as soon as this election is over (until the next one), we’ve gotta be strategic.

To that end, we’ve compiled a list of celebrities we’d like to see here in Wisconsin before election day, and we refuse to vote until those demands are met (well, that’s what we’re saying, anyway).

So far our list includes: Larry David, Tina Fey, Bruce Springsteen, Johnny Depp, Marisa Tomei, Rosie Perez, and Ben Affleck and Matt Damon (it was brought to my attention that we can’t have Ben Affleck without Matt Damon).

If you’d like to join us, please list your demands in the comment section below. We’ve gotta make it through the final days of election season somehow, right?

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12 thoughts on “Swing state leverage

  1. I agree totally about the excitement of WI being a swing state. And yes, it’ll be yesterdays news soon enough.
    Celebrity? Hmm,…how about Dr. Phil?
    I’d chip in toward a private therapy session for Zach & Ed. ?? Lisa, can you fire up an online donation petition?

    disclaimer: do not take this seriously. 🙂

  2. I would not mind getting like Scarlett Johanson, Samual L Jackson, and Iron Man (ahum I mean Robert Downey Jr.) all here as well since all are supporters of the President.

  3. I’d like to see William Powell, Errol Flynn, Cary Grant, Katherine Hepburn, Mae West, and Myrna Loy. As the Romney campaign has a penchant for magical thinking yielding inexplicable results, I’m certain they could comply.

    Perhaps these celebrities could give some insight by describing the state of affairs when they reigned on the silver screen. Perhaps the persuasiveness of William Powell or Katherine Hepburn could impress upon the current commander in chief to remember the commander in chief from their day – President Franklin Delano Roosevelt.

    Maybe Mae West could convince Obama of the value of a government works program?

    Romney might take some lessons from Cary Grant, who once said: “I pretended to be somebody I wanted to be and I finally became that person. Or he became me. Or we met at some point.”

    panem et circenses

  4. Given that 1.4 million evangelicals have pledged to write in Jesus for president, I think the carpenter from Nazareth should make an appearance. Or might his appearance signal the end of elections altogether?

  5. I’d vote for Springsteen, Jon Stewart and/or Colbert. We could keep Dr. Phil very busy; he could formally evaluate Walker, Thompson, half the state senate and most of the assembly for us. Is there time to get a referendum on the ballot?

  6. *timidly raising hand* Springsteen and Tine Fey, for sure.

    I had an Obama worker phone me yesterday asking me to phone bank or canvass. I can’t, I just can’t. So I asked where she would like me to bring food for the volunteers next Saturday. That pleased her.

    We all give according to our means …

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