A draft of Scott Walker’s Labor Day speech

Via The Political Environment comes this gem.

A reader dropped this off. She said she found it on the back of a George Webb’s paper place mat, and I spent the morning getting the hand writing verified by a palm reader south of town and at two area Walgreen’s pharmacies, so here’s the transcription, verbatim, with his edits and corrections:


Union brothers and sisters.  Fellow state employees. Men and women of Wisconsin;
Labor Day greetings. I’ve been a friend to Labor and always supported its basic rights, like divide-and-conquer (not here, work in later), collective bargaining.  Fair union elections. The right to walk out. Hey, I told Marquette to take that job and shove it and that’s into year twenty-six. See, they tried to divide-and-conquer me from my friends and campaign committee. I showed them, aina!

And a special greeting to Wisconsin public employees. This isn’t one of those furlough days assigned by me where some judge comes in later and slaps me for it. It’s a real holiday, so enjoy it.

I appreciate all the sacrifices public employees have made since I dropped the bomb my modest proposal on them.  You know we had a budget deficit to close and I’ve kept my word that we’ll never have another one we can sell off enough state properties and raise more taxes on lower-income people to make sure we don’t have another one.

And the good thing is, Main Street didn’t miss a beat. Jobs are everywhere and if you string three or four of them together, you can earn a living wage. I mean, look at me: I can multi-task, coordinating the state and my campaign and some outside groups just like I did when I was Milwaukee County Executive.

More good jobs news: As I said the other day, our people found a four-day period in the second quarter of my third year in office where we created more jobs than Tennessee, Lower Sandusky and Crimea.

Plus – – and you will see this in the next installment of my ad series, “On the way to 25,000 new jobs” – – the statewide rolling average of new jobs as a percentage of the second-to-most recent fiscal year ‘s Labor Department monthly survey of employers whose names end in a “B” or “T” was higher than the traditional average of new hires in both The Town of Burke and the Town of Doyle.

There’s your smoking gun disclosure right there. Those are real places. PolitiFact my geography. I wouldn’t lie to you.

So we’re moving in the right direction.

And, yes, I just said “On the way to 25,000 new jobs” because – – and, yes I know I’m making news here and, yes, yes, yes, they say, ‘don’t waste it on a slow news day off,’ but a man’s got to do what a man’s got to do – – we also found the original draft script of my jobs promise talking points, and I kid you not, it says “25,000. “

So we’re more than four-times past the goal. Promise. Whoo-Hoo.

What happened was that an extra “0” got in there. A typo, probably by the same volunteer who put my campaign jobs plan on the web site in that big type.

Volunteers! I mean, everyone can’t be a Tim Russell. I miss that guy.

Anyway – – I’ve kept my promises, and I won’t be going to the airport or the Summerfest Grounds today to greet President Obama. (But keep options open. TV will be there.)

I never promised I would, and it’s crucial that a leader keep his promises.

Besides, I’ve already done that airport bit with Obama. He already got his Brewers and Packers’ jerseys. (Note to speechwriters, self: Mention Packers and Brewers ALOT from now on.) 

Does he think I’m made out of money? It’s not like I can just call up people with money and say, ‘send some’ to some kind of special fund.

Plus – – he’s taller than I am. (Note to self: check Jeb Bush and Rick Perry’s height. Damn his cowboy boots. Order lifts. Like the ones I had when I ran against Neumann & Barrett.)

So I’m sticking close to home today. Just me and the family and my defense team. We’ll grill some brats in the back yard and I’ll spread out that bag of leaves I keep behind the garage and re-rake them in case some reporter comes along to see if I’m working.

Trust me. I’m always working. I don’t take a day off, not even Labor Day. You’ll see the evidence.  The records. The documents.  My cell phone pictures. Check my Twitter feed later. All the important work stuff is there.


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