Ron Johnson’s four tips for a successful life

During a visit to Nicolet High School on Friday, May 9 Republican U.S. Senator Ron Johnson gave students some tips on how to lead a successful life.

Here are Sen. Ron Johnson’s tips for a successful life:

  1. Finish high school
  2. Don’t get addicted to drugs and alcohol
  3. Don’t have children until after marriage
  4. Marry someone from a wealthy family

Said Johnson, “If you follow (those three steps), you have a pretty good chance of being successful.”

Oh wait….did I forget to mention that only the first three tips were from Sen. Johnson? Yeah, he didn’t mention that fourth tip, but it sure did help him end up being successful.


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6 thoughts on “Ron Johnson’s four tips for a successful life

    1. Right, Bluster. John Kerry was a complete loser until he married Theresa Heinz in 1995 at the age of 52. His career had gone nowhere, except for that stint as a district attorney and 10 years in the US Senate. Ron Johnson? He married the boss’s daughter right out of college.

    1. Or skip them all and take your profits off the hundreds of thousands of slave, forced child laborers in India.

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