The award for the worst political press release ever goes to Jason “Red” Arnold

This has to be the most bizarre press release I’ve ever read, and that’s saying something.

Senator Larson, I just checked and saw that they gave you another “false” rating regarding your assessment of the predicted budget shortfall. Is this your honest assessment (which you also reiterated on or are you using a tactic you continuously blame Republicans for? Fear mongering. This double tactic is actually interesting to watch if you’re a neutral party (and know what is transpiring). Not only are you pointing the finger at someone, blaming them for the burning of Rome but you, in fact, are the arsonist. Bravo for being able to accomplishing it for so long but the magic show is over. No one ever pulled a rabbit out of a hat without first putting the rabbit in there. It’s time to actually let the citizens of Wisconsin prosper for a change.

There are 2 things I have that come into play here that make me such a dangerous adversary to your party politics and at the same time a desirable candidate as an option for the people to choose instead of you, Senator. The first is having a MENSA IQ. This isn’t something I divulge in casual conversation but when decisions you make involve the livelihood and pocketbook of 6 million people, I feel it deserves mention. However, I find it comes in handy in situations like these because I’m able to see things others don’t. I mean, you want your doctor to be smart, you want your lawyer to be smart, why would you not want the person writing the laws that you and everyone else you know has to abide by to be smart as well? The second is that I was trained as a Six Sigma Black Belt. What is that, you ask? It has nothing to do with martial arts (unless you count Kung “Food”).  Six Sigma is a data driven problem solving technique that produces astounding results. A Six Sigma Black Belt is a glorified statistical analyst and creative problem solver. I use data, raw data to lead me to the root cause of a problem. Not intuition, not experience, not whatever the head honcho says but raw, unbiased data. Once you identify the root cause of a problem you can solve the issue from the ground up and repair any broken links along the way. That is what makes it so powerful. However, you need to know what to look for and what to test for in order to make said repairs.

This analysis you gave regarding the budget shortfall is pretty much indicative of being antonymous to Six Sigma principles, and accuracy. Allow me to explain. First you took the projected budget shortfall (key word “projected”) and you applied simple arithmetic to it via population. You then used those numbers for fear mongering purposes.

Ray Rice beat his wife. E.g. he is called a wife beater in the literal sense of the word and deservedly so because he actually is one. However, if you walk into a room with a large number of people, like a community event, and you point to someone (you don’t even have to know their name) and shout “this man is a wife beater”, that man, regardless of how many people know him, will now have to defend that accusation forever. If you happen to call him out by name that adds even more credibility to your accusation because that indicates to the rest of the audience that you may know him, regardless of whether or not you do. Human nature dictates that from that moment forth, whenever anyone sees him, they automatically have that idea in their mind that he is a wife beater. It takes a long time for people to finally accept that premise as false but it always resides in the back of their mind but the damage is already (and usually irreparably) done. That is essentially what fear mongering is. Tell a falsehood about somebody to trash their credibility so that nobody listens to anything they say from that moment on.

You guys have done it very well for many years. Why? Because your ideas are so bad that you can’t win any other way, that and it is a very effective tool. Just ask those poor kids with “cooties” on the playground sitting alone that grow up to become a subject for candlelight vigils. Catch my drift? Kids learn things somewhere. Remember that old drug PSA? “You, alright! I learned it by watching you!” It’s hard for kids to shy away from that sort of conduct when even their leaders engage in such behavior.  You throw out misleading accusations such as: “The War on Women,” “Scott Walker is an abuser,” “You want to throw granny off of a cliff,” “You want unsafe streets,” “You want dirty air and dirty water,” “You don’t care about the poor and elderly,” etc. I could go on and on but ink is expensive nowadays and some people still read print.

With Six Sigma you analyze patterns. I have to say, Chris, your results are yielding a definite pattern. The $1.8 billion budget shortfall is a prediction. Back when Jim Doyle was governor, that shortfall was around $3.6 billion. So right off the bat we have about a 100% improvement. If they’re “predicting” this “shortfall” then the legislature has to do things to make sure it balances out. With any luck you actually end up with a surplus. Which… we did… last time around, remember? Hence resulting in that thing that we got that we haven’t seen in years. Oh, GAH! What’s it called? Oh, c’mon, you know that thing? That… that THING! That thing where government actually gives you money back? UGH! Its uhh… a TAX BREAK! Geez, it took me a while to remember what it was called because Wisconsin hadn’t seen one in so long.

We did it once, we can do it again. You increase revenue, cut spending, or perhaps (my favorite) use Six Sigma principles in order to cut fat from governmental processes without cutting any of the meat. Voila! You now have a balanced budget, not a $300 per family cost increase as you so cavalierly claim. Granted that thought process is something that your party is used to but that is what makes us different. That is what makes Six Sigma so lucrative. It is also why so few people use it. It is not easy so not many people can do it. But it can be an invaluable weapon in slashing the waste from a budget… if there was only someone smart enough to use it, brave enough to do it and actually had the gall to run against the blue machine that is trying to revert Wisconsin to its old ways. Gee, if we only had someone like that on the ballot. If there was only someone with a bit of… Red… to counter that blue…

You see, that’s what makes me so dangerous, Chris. I see through your lies, garbage and bully tactics. Not only can I point them out, I stand up to them as well. Then there’s that whole “actual solution” thing that we Republicans engage in, but that’s probably not much of a concern for your party. It takes time away from fear mongering.

There are some who will blindly follow you anywhere merely because you have a (D) in front of your name, but there are other true believers who have something to lose. A car, a house, a life, a chance to send their kid to college, a chance to give their children a shot at a life that they never had because they believed the stories that people like you told and the rhetoric that went along with that pointed finger.

Those people are looking for something different. It’s called the American Dream and they’ve been dreaming long enough. It’s time to turn that dream into reality but you can only do that when you know the truth. “Then you will know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.” John 8:32. Call us out on real mistakes, Chris. Then again, if you actually did that, what would you have to talk about?

With 8 total scores on one side of the meter; 6 Mostly False, 1 False and 1 Pants on Fire, it’s a  pretty good indication as to the job you’ve done in serving the people and providing them with valid information. Information is for the people’s benefit Chris, not yours. The people deserve better. Sorry Chris, but sometimes, truth hurts. But you needn’t worry, because I’m here to set you free.

For a guy with a “MENSA IQ,” Jason Arnold sure could use some work on his writing skills, because they’re pretty horrible.


Related Articles

11 thoughts on “The award for the worst political press release ever goes to Jason “Red” Arnold

  1. Wow– A self-proclaimed “Mensa” and “Six Sigma Black Belt” braggart who spews forth thousands of words to attack others but has too few words to articulate his position on vital issues.

  2. Dear sir,

    Thank you for your prestigious award. I will admit, I am not an English major, nor do I claim my writing style to be in this case anything but… conversational, shall we say? However, I am well aware that my grammar in my recent press releases is subpar but that was intentional. Granted, Einstein had trouble with basic arithmetic so not all “geniuses” are good at everything. Either way, I’ll take the title of idiot savant, sans savant, in this particular vocation. I know where my strengths are and I know where my weaknesses are. Sometimes comic “genius” Andy Kaufman had to forego his act and revert to doing Latka from Taxi in order to maintain his audience. Recognizing what needs to be done in order to be noticed whereas before you were not and modify your approach in order to do so takes some intellect.

    I have to say, I appreciate your response. Thank you for biting on the bait hook, line and sinker. I’d also thank you for verifying my prediction that my first negative response was going to be an ad hominem attack an not an attack on the subject matter, so I thank you for making that prediction come true as well.

    Again, thank you on for bestowing that title on me and giving me a set bar to aim for next time. I will try not to disappoint in my future endeavors.

    Red Arnold

    1. Jason, the fact that you felt compelled to come here to respond shows that you bit hook, line, and sinker.

      To address your point about my ad hominem attack on you, I’d be happy to tear apart the issues you addressed in your press release, if you brought up any real issues. See, I’ve read and re-read your press release, and while you do a lot of bragging about your IQ while tearing down Chris Larson and those who support him, you don’t really outline where you stand on the issues that matter, except to note that you’re a big fan of Six Sigma.

      Oh, and since you felt compelled to bring up your MENSA IQ in your press release, I’m wondering what you’ve done with that IQ since graduating from high school 20 years ago. Surely you’ve used that MENSA IQ to do amazing things to benefit society, right?

      Look, you can come here and try (though not really succeed) at making yourself seem smart, but when all is said and done, you’re gonna get crushed on election day, MENSA IQ or not.

  3. Sigma Six is the current golden calf of the business community, correct? The one that lets you have your cake and toss it out too? All in the name of efficiency and profits, of course.

  4. I lived in a bottle for most of those years. I also lived as a liberal for those years. I crawled out around the time the economy took a plop. I believed the rhetoric of the Democrats and subscribed to their philosophies. It was always somebody else’s problem and/or responsibilities. When I realized that the individual, not the collective, best controls ones destiny is when I “converted”. Either way, people don’t want amazing things unless its toys. People want to complain. This “politics as usual” loop we seem to be perpetually stuck in is one of the main reasons I am running. I’m offering solutions and a path yet nobody is willing to take an hour to really get to know the things they claim to ponder. I think you would probably be surprised at what I have to say on the issues. In fact, if you wish to set up a debate between myself and Senator Larson I gladly accept that offer in advance. Anytime, anyplace, anywhere any subject. Except The View. I won’t go on The View. There’s a line from the movie Menace To Society where Roc’s character says “Sharif used to get into all sorts of trouble before he found The Nation… If Allah makes him a better man then Jesus then I’m all for it.” Now I’m no Muslim but I put aside my biases in search of what really works. If Charles Manson proclaimed E=mc2 first I would at least test the theory. My travels indicate that most folks would not. Would You? Would you put your biases aside and chance the possibility that I may be right? I ask you. You’ve read the foreword, now turn the page. Put a debate together and I’ll be there. Hook a Republican up, but make sure you keep an open mind because there are ideas out there that work. Chris Larson doesn’t have them. If he did I would vote for him.

    1. Red,

      Sorry to hear about your struggles with alcohol. That can kill a lot of brain cells.

      Back in 2007, even in established manufacturing, where quality control will always be important, Fortune magazine debunked claims Six Sigma supporters made.

      “New rule: Look out, not in. Old rule: Be lean and mean.”

      Deming, statistical process control, total quality management,… have their roots in the old French cliche, “don’t buy a pig in a poke.” As shareholders have learned, however, gathering accurate data is expensive. Understanding how to analyze it can be more expensive. Too many quality control “experts” returned a negative ROI when their “results,” were compared to their costs.

      I’m sorry you’ve chosen to ignore Zach’s very diplomatic attempts to give you a little “tough love.” Before embarrassing yourself further I suggest you search on “writing a decent press release.” Then please post your gratitude to Zach for helping you learn how dumb your attempt appeared to everyone familiar with the skill and hard work it takes to write a press release.

      You wrote: “…However, I am well aware that my grammar in my recent press releases is subpar but that was intentional….”

      Please, by all means let us know which grammar in your press release you think was “subpar.” After that, please explain why you decided to include it? You mentioned that you were not an English major. Since you brought it up, what was your major in college? Do you have a post graduate degree? If so, in what? Since you knew you weren’t an “English major,” why didn’t you hire someone with experience writing quality press releases? Who told you that you were a genius? Do you have anything to back that up? Based on what you’ve written, you don’t sound like a “problem solver.”

      Since you claim to be a Republican, please confirm that you are in favor of ending the job-killing-government regulations against marijuana. I would never encourage anyone, who did not already have a serious illness, to use it, but the prohibition against alcohol didn’t work either.

      Since you claim to be a Republican, please confirm that you oppose any efforts by the government to “force birth.”

      Since you claim to be a Republican, please confirm that you understand that “(Federal) Taxes For Revenue Are Obsolete”

  5. Someone mentioned braggart, I’d be leaning heavily toward a non-transient delusional psychosis diagnosis. I had to giggle the, “View” (people actually watch that?) no “Red,” try as you might, I can see that you might not want to drag down the level of discourse there, the one seemingly true statement you made, in not want to appear there.

    Hook a Republican up? Walker’s already done that, Kathy Stepp, Ryan Murry, just to name 2 out of about 40 individuals, hooked them up to the public trough with triple digit salaraies, benefits and retirement packages, with just one idea among the lot of them, praise the governor’s every whim.

    But don’t despair, Joy Cardin will interview anyone and give then “pundit,” status. Just ask BlasKKKa.

  6. A Mensa whatever that is black belt admits to intentially using bad grammar in press releases. What a joke!!!

Comments are closed.