Audition Uncovered

For those of you not familiar with Christian Schneiders work, he has written some of the (unintentionally?) funniest stuff there is out of Wisconsin politics lately.

Schneider came out with such gems as the well timed “alternate” story using “anonymous” sources that pointed out that Justice Bradley’s neck performed a vicious attack Prosser’s hands, compared Randy Hopper to Buzz Lightyear, said Paul Ryan becoming president would be a demotion and best of all actually wrote this line(while declaring Paul Ryan the winner of the recent recall elections):

I, for one, am trying to determine which of my children to love less in order to make more room in my heart to love Paul Ryan more.

Here on BloggingBlue, we came across a draft of Schneider’s take on the upcoming 2nd Congressional district race, if he was a paid shill for the democratic party(instead of one for the right). It appears he auditioned but found out that a bunch of teachers, nurses, police officers, firemen, prison guards, etc… do not pay as well as the Koch brothers.

The 2nd Congressional Race – we all win!

With Tammy Baldwin all but assured to continue Senator Herb Kohl’s amazing work for the people of Wisconsin(who can beat her? Tommy “Tax & Spend” Thompson, The Fitzgerald sisters, ted “no one has ever heard of me” Kanavas, Dave “orange camo ” Westlake? See now we can move on to the rest of the story). The race to fill her seat is turning out to be an interesting one.

The indefatigable Mark Pocan who has been doing award winning work exposing the damage that Alec has done to this state and others, is the first one to throw his hat in the ring. Rep. Pocan was the person who coined the brilliant term “Fitzwalkerstan” and has been one of the few voices of reason to come out of the assembly.

It also appears that the next person in will be Senator Jon Erpenbach who was one of the leaders of the Heroic Wisconsin 14 during their time doing the Wisconsin people’s work in Illinois. Erpenbach handled himself so well on TV that the only real question he faces is should he run for national office or take over the CBS Evening news.

There is also rumor that the beautiful and brilliant Representative Kelda Helen Roys will also run for Ms. Baldwins seat. We hate to share our Wisconsin treasures with the rest of the country but if we must we must.

The decision for me will be like choosing if I want to drive my Ferrari, Lamborghini, or Mercedes to work. I might have to pass on the primary and just support the last action hero standing.

I could vote in the Republican Primary, but I would be the only one. Right now all three are polling 75% higher than Chad Lee (who has promised to run ads of Tammy Baldwin dancing at the Gay Pride Parade regardless of who the candidate is), and polling approximately 98% better than Peter Theron or Dave Magnum.

Whoever wins, Wisconsin and the second congressional district can be proud of who we send to represent us in DC.

Christian Schneider – Chief Executive, Senior Fellow and Grand Poobah of all things politics


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1 thought on “Audition Uncovered

  1. There is another solution to Christian’s dilemma. He could make more room in his heart for his love of Paul Ryan simply by reducing the space devoted to his love of money and power……

    Problem solved.

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