I, Uhhhhh, Ummmm, Have to Wash My Hair,

Paul Ryan has been trying to hide from constituents lately. In the rare occassion he finds himself amongst the rabble, before he has them arrested, he likes to tell them to schedule an appointment. Well I like to take Paul Ryan at his word so, I scheduled an appointment. After about 8 days and two phone calls, I received the following letter:

Yahoo!

Re: Scheduling Request
Thursday, September 22, 2011 7:59 AM
From: “Congressman Paul Ryan”

CONSTITUENT HOTLINE: 1-888-909-RYAN (7926)

Dear Jeff:

Thank you for contacting me to request a meeting . Unfortunately, due to the hectic Congressional Schedule and other prior commitments, I am unavailable for a meeting.

Under Congressional Courtesy, I am required to suggest that you direct your request to your federal representative, Congresswoman Tammy Baldwin, who serves Wisconsin’s 2 nd District, which includes Cottage Grove, Wisconsin , where you reside. As is the custom in Congress, all requests received from those outside of a Member’s Congressional district are referred to the Member of Congress who serv es the constituent’s district. You can obtain the contact information for your Member of Congress by visiting: www.house.gov .

Because I do not represen t you in Congress, I appreciate you r understanding why I am required to suggest that you direct your request to your federal representative for their review and response.

Best wishes to you.

Sincerely,

Paul Ryan
Serving Wisconsin’s 1st District

Hmmmm, he doesn’t have time to meet with people outside of his district, and I could have sworn he recently did meet with people outside his district! Unless of course John Cochran and Clifford Asness moved to Janesville(you can buy alot of house for the money these days), although I am quite certain they have never been anywhere near the 1st congressional district. So I thought I would appeal my case with his scheduler(who is very nice).

Ms. Stoneking,

I would like to have you please reconsider a meeting with Congressman Ryan. I am a contributor to the Wisconsin blog www.bloggingblue.com and also grew up just outside of the Congressman’s district in Orfordville. I have spent much time and money and have family and friends in the first congressional district.

Congressman Ryan is one of the main voices in Congress right now and his policies and philosophies affect everyone in this country. I know it is policy to refer people to meet with the Congressperson where they actually live, but I also know that all Congress people meet with many people daily who do not actually live in their districts.

I would like ten minutes( or whatever the Congressman can spare) and ask a few questions relevant to the people of Wisconsin. So I can share his actual thoughts, ideas and philosophies on how we will recover as a nation.

Thank you for your reconsideration.

Jeff Simpson

Well Ms. Stoneking, stonewalled me again:

Mr. Simpson,

Thank you for following up on this request. I appreciate your comments, but unfortunately, due to prior commitments with constituents in the 1st Congressional District , as well as a lengthy backlog of pending requests from constituents Congressman Ryan serves, I do not have time available in the schedule for a meeting or phone call.

I appreciate your understanding of my limitations and I wish you the best.

Hmmm so maybe instead of all of his appearances on the right wing hate radio or Fox news, he could use that time to clear up the backlog of “pending requests from constituents”. One more try?

Ms. Stoneking,

I am willing to wait a couple months, meet eearly morning or later at night or even dinner if possible. I am very open and will make any time work.

Jeff Simpson

Followed up quickly by:

I will keep your request pending.

Thank you,

I have a pending request, which I guess is doing better than Tom Nielson and was not offered candy or a Packer/Badger Schedule as a consolation prize for attempting to speak with a public official(I hear the congressman recently came across some extra candy actually).

Now I will make a public plea.

Paul, Congressman Ryan, let’s do dinner! You can bring your lovely wife Janna and I will bring my wife also. We can have a double date! I cant buy you a $350 bottle of Jayer-Gilles 2004 Echezeaux Grand Cru, heck I can’t even pronounce it(Full disclosure here, not saying im cheap, but if I drank $350 bottle of wine I would never pee again, but I digress). I do enjoy some good Wisconsin made Prairie Fume(about $9/ bottle) or New Glarus Spotted Cow(about $7/6pack). $350 on drinks goes a long way in Wisconsin(maybe we can get our wives to drive)! I promise to be better company than John Cochrane and/or Cliff Asness(I will not even yell profanities if someone comes over to talk to you). We could even meet at Hhffrrggh if you like, it is not Bistro Bis, but the food is pretty good and its local.

So Paul you have my number, let’s do dinner and we can discuss numerous topics! I promise a very fair interview where I don’t take you out of context(I think your words speak volumes no need to change them). I will also not make things up like Christian Schneider does.

You have my number, I look forward to hearing from you!

Jeff Simpson
Senior Fellow Blogging Blue