Senator Jim Holperin, is the subject of a recall election. Local tea party organizer Kim Simac, will be announcing her candidacy to run against Senator Holperin. Why Kim Simac you may ask? because Dan Baltes was busy) But I digress, back to Ms. Simac.

Ms. Simac is the author of numerous children’s books, including deposed Fox talk show crazy, Glen Beck’s favorite children’s book “With My Rifle By My Side”.

Now that she will be busy running for office trying to take our rights away and sell our power plants to the lowest bidder, she might be too busy to write. So I thought as a community service for the children, we could help her with future books. She nailed the idea of a children’s book perfectly with her last one. So I thought we could help her out with future ones. I am sure she is a brilliant writer, so let’s just help her with more titles as appropriate to children as “With My Rifle By My Side.” that would make the “tea party” proud.

Here are some of my ideas, lets hear yours:

” My favorite swear words”

“One Fish, Two Fish, but only White Fish”

” Fox in Socks and American Flag dress shirts”

“How the grinch saved Christmas, from all of those commie bastards that say Happy Holidays”

“Diary of a Wimpy Kid: who grew up to be a Congressman from Janesville”

“The Tale of Despereaux: Scott Walkers national ambitions”

\"Randy Hopper and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day\"

“Scooby Doo and the mystery of the Blue Painters Tape”

“the Very Hungry Caterpillar: who is a lazy bastard on welfare who refuses to get a job and wants us to provide everything for him”

“Greenilicious: the story of the fight for the Koch Brothers campaign money”

“The Rainbow Fish Chooses to be that way”

Your turn:

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22 Responses to They have a candidate….?

  1. You left out,

    ” Mommies Don’t Like Commies “

  2. geezermom says:

    How about:
    “my daddy lied over my sister and that is how I came to be”

  3. geezermom,

    That’s quite a bit farther than I’m willing to go.
    I’m thinking more along the lines of

    ” Green Eggs and Death Panels ”
    ” Horton Hears A Marxist ”
    ” That’s Not a Monster Under Your Bed, That’s A Socialist “

  4. Hermes says:

    A Mexican In The Attic

    The Giving Corporation

    Where the Electoral District Ends

  5. Thanks, man, but there’s really nothing to it.

    ” The Kat in the Hammer and Cycle ”

    ” How the Liberal Grinch Stole Christmas ”

    ” Thidwick, the Big Hearted Moose That Was Shot from a Helicopter by Sarah Palin”

    Nothin’ to it!

    • Zuma Bound says:

      “. . .but there’s really nothing to it.”

      Okay, Steve, NOW you’re just rubbing it in. The REST of us lesser mortals have to really work at it. . .


      Anyway, brother, your wit and wisdom always brighten my day. Thanks for that.

  6. ray says:

    How I spent my vacation in all 57 states

    Stay away from the blue fisted haters

    • Zuma Bound says:

      Just because Ray Ray had to bring invoke the whole blue/red dichotomy (sorry about the big word, Big R):

      (1) Ray[ford] The Big Red Moron

      (2) Ray and The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Idea

      (3) Ray of Red Gables

      (4) Red Eggs and Ray

      (5) A Light In The Attic [but no one’s home], by Ray

  7. Ed Heinzelman says:

    Obama is President because of affirmative action at Electoral College.

    And then there’s my favorite 60’s Surf music instremental: Walker don’t Run.

  8. Zuma Bound says:

    The Little Wingnut That Could

    Where The Wingnuts Are

    MindF*ck Everlasting

  9. Jeff Simpson says:


    Everyone can play. I loved Ray’s because it showed when a real right winger jumped in that for all the fun we were having we werent far off from reality were we!

  10. Zach says:

    I’m a big Eric Carle fan, so in a takeoff of some of his books, here are my suggestions:

    “The Very Hateful Teapartier”
    “Have You Seen His Birth Certificate?”
    “Socialists Socialists”

  11. Jeff Simpson says:

    the very hateful teapartier might be my favorite….was trying to think of an Eric Carle one and that is perfect!

  12. Jeff Simpson says:

    This got me banned from Kim Simac’s facebook page…..and I was just trying to help!

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